Sin and Redemption
by NinjaSquirls
Summary: The moon is shining, Roy wants to stop dancing, Ed is consumed by guilt.The characters of FMA express their deepest and not so deep feelings...in song! What is it? It's FMA: the musical. Now with yaoi goodness
1. Sin and Redemption: title song

A/N: this started out as the chorus to a song I was working on for Naruto - basically about him realzing his mortality and the possibility of killing others as a ninja, because I just watched the Neji-Hinata fight and the episode about Haku's death. Anyway, I realized that the emotions actually worked much better for Ed, so here it is - the first installment of FMA: the Musical. It is more or less Ed singing about his feelings about his brother, his guilt over what happened, and his need to fix it. Hope it doesn't suck too much!

Disclaimer: I don't Ed, Al, or FMA. Although if you still want to send me some money, I won't say no.

**Sin and Redemption**

Oh the burden I bear

It cannot be shared

It's my sorrow and grief

My guilt and my tears

It's my sin

My sin

And for my sin there can be no redemption

The only thing I can do

Is make it up to you

But I don't think that means that I'm forgiven

Maybe it means we can forget

Finally move on, try to live again

Try again

Try again

But I'm still a sinner

And I'm still a fool

But you are forgiven

Because you didn't know

But I'm still a sinner

All these memories I hold

I know I should let go of the past

But sometimes I think

It's the only thing I have

And sometimes I think that all my life

Is trying to make up for what I've done

I'm always saying sorry

And you always just ignore me

I'm sorry

I'm sorry

And I almost wish that you'd be angry

I wish brotherly love didn't go so far

It'd be easier if you just said

I'll hate you forever and ever

But you're always so kind and so sure

That I have all the answers

But what if I'm not as strong

As you want me to be

I can't fail you

I can't fail our memories

I can't fail

This burden I bear

It cannot be shared

I'll go on and I'll win

But I'll remember my guilt and my grief

And my sin

My sin

My sin


	2. Saraba, Mitsukai no Mugen

A/N: I swear by all the gods in heaven, I was JOKING when I said that Sin and Redemption was the first part of FMA: the Musical. It was really intended to be a oneshot. But then I saw _Gigi_ at the Adobe Theater (very good, by the way) and I couldn't get the idea of an Ed/Roy love song out of head. So here you have it, and there will probably be more to follow. Ed has been so angsty and sad in these two, I want to give him a fun song, like I am Not Short. And Al definitely gets a kitty song. So please enjoy.

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or any of its characters. If I did, you can bet that Hughes would still live, and there would be many more cases of Riza and Havoc walking in on Ed and Roy making out. **

**Official Warning:** Yaoiness is a deadly, contagious disease which is rarely curable once caught. If you have innocently came by this fanfiction, unconscious of the countless dangers in the world (such as yaoiness) that surrounds you, and have planned to examine its contests out of curiosity, you have been warned. If you happen to a) become deeply sickened by its contents, or b) become deeply moved by its contents and become a sufferer of yaoiness, please do not blaim the author of this fanfiction. If you are already suffering from yaoiness, please do not hesitate to read the contents of this fanfic. However, if you become a) even more yaoi after reading this fanfic, or b) disappointed by this fanfic because it wasn't hard enough for a minor like you, of which neither makes much difference because you will end up a yaoi anyway, please do not blame the author either. Having said all this, I have probably further increased your curiosity to reading this fanfic. Therefore I apologize. Furthermore, you have been warned for one last time. Please, consider your options wisely before you proceed to cast your eyes down to the contents of this story. Of course, there is always the option of committing suicide by jumping off a cliff, if you are deeply confused by your list of options. Thank you for your time. (source: Kiiro Yumetobu, via Hanjuuluver).

And now - (dramatic pause) the actual fanfic! Yay!

**Saraba, Mitsukai no Mugen**

**(Farewell, Angel of Dreams)**

(Disclaimer: to anyone who can actually read Japanese or has enough free time to have actually look this up, it means nothing! I am sure it is either nonsense or a grammatical nightmare and I apologize. I was basically just stringing together random words I looked up and liked into something that vaguely resembled a phrase. The translation is just what I wish it would say, could I speak Japanese)

**Riza**: It's getting late, sir. Shouldn't you be getting home?

**Roy**: I still have some work to finish. But you can head out if you want. I'll be all right here.

**Riza**: Goodnight, sir.

- Riza exits slowly. Roy walks over to the window and stares out moodily. –

**Roy (softly)**: the moon is full tonight…

_I never look at the moon, you know_

_It's just another piece of dirt, not worth thinking of_

_I'm way too busy to indulge in all these childish_

_Romantic fantasies, of lovers met by moonlight_

_But somehow, on a night like this, I just can't help myself_

_From won-der-ing_

_Somewhere in this whole wide world there must be someone else_

_Who's looking at the same moon, and feeling just like me_

_Somewhere this silver moonlight must be shining down on_

_One person who would love me, absolutely and completely_

_Someone who would love me just for me_

_I'm fed up with smiling this sad, sick smile_

_As all the fools around me bend and bow and grovel_

'_Roy, my dearest friend, it's been a while'_

'_A while' – more like never in my life_

_Why can't they get a life and let me be?_

'_Roy, can't you help an old friend out?'_

_I ought to throw them out_

_All these phonies, fakes and toadies_

_They're always asking, always wanting, always grasping_

_And I'm just tired – of this eternal dance_

_How we bow and swirl and prance_

_But we're always going roundabout in circles_

_Has anyone else noticed, or just me?_

_Sure, I wear the smile, and I do the steps_

_Call me the handsome bachelor, always on the floor_

_But all that I can think, is 'God, I need a drink_

_This emptiness is far too much – and here comes more!'_

_Surely somewhere in this whole wide world_

_There must be somebody who just loves me for me_

_Someone who won't ask and pry and need_

_Someone whose love is more than greed_

_Someone who's not afraid to tell me 'jerk, you're wrong'_

_Is it too much to ask, that someone come and end the dance_

_That someone walk forever by my side?

* * *

_

- Cut away to Ed, lying on the ground outside. He has his arm up and is staring at the moon (and every FMA fan better know the pose I am talking about)-

**Ed (sighing):**

_Another sleepless night –I shouldn't be surprised_

_It's not like I've never had bad dreams before_

_It's not like I haven't spent a thousand nights_

_Lying here and begging answers from the moonlight_

_Call me a fool, I know it's true, but what am I to do_

_Suddenly it feels so hard and I'm so lonely_

_Somewhere in this whole wide world there must be someone else_

_Who's looking at the same moon, and feeling just like me_

_Somewhere this silver moonlight must be shining down on_

_One person who would love me, absolutely and completely_

_Someone who could just hold onto me_

_My face is a creation of smoke and mirrors_

_Every word I speak is just an illusion_

_I can't afford to seem weak or scared_

_When everyone thinks I'm strong, I have no fears_

_Why do people have to believe in me?_

_Why do they ask me to be more than I could ever be?_

_It's too much to try to live up to their expectations_

_But I hold the knife in my hand; I'd rather die than fail them_

_So I must be strong and brave and sure_

_But I don't know if I can do it anymore_

_I'm drowning in a sea of grief_

_I'm being swallowed by my memories_

_The past is a forest and I'm lost without a light_

_And I can't fight it I can't find my way out_

_I'll lose my soul forever in this darkness of my mind_

_If I can't find somebody to hold out a hand_

_Please, somebody, save me, please_

_Just give me something real to keep me here_

_Surely somewhere in this whole wide world_

_There must be somebody who would just let me be me_

_Who wouldn't need me to be strong_

_I need someone to share this heavy world I bear_

_I want to feel my tears, my grief my sorrow_

_Is there someone who can help me reach tomorrow?

* * *

_

–The opening for this shot is split screen, Ed on one side, Roy on the other, with the moon in the middle, and both of them reaching for the moon, so that it looks like they are reaching for each other. Thank you, Hanjuuluver, for the suggestion! -

**Ed/Roy****(singing together)**:

_But what am I thinking – I must be crazy_

_I've got things to do, I can't afford to fall in love_

_I blame this blasted cursed moon_

_Making me think of things that I can't have_

_Making me dream of the impossible_

_But still – could it be_

_That somewhere in this whole wide world there is someone else_

_Who's looking at the same moon, and feeling just like me?_

_Somewhere could this silver moonlight now be shining down on_

_Someone who would love me, absolutely and completely_

_And who could it be?_

_Despite all my better judgment, I just can't help myself_

_I must be a fool – I'm falling in love with this fantasy_

_And thinking of all that I need from them, want from them, dream them to be_

_I need a worthy adversary, not a fawning slave_

_Someone who will drive me to the edge, and bring me back again_

_I want an equal, a partner; I want us to protect each other_

_I want us to find strength in each other's arms_

_I need someone who can see me, who can see the real me_

_Not the fire and the flash, the bloodstains…and my power_

_Someone who won't be scorched by being near me_

_I don't want someone who's afraid of me, or what I do_

_Someone who understands my silence, my nightmares – the shadows I bear_

_It's just too hard to explain where I've been, what I've done_

_All the wars I've lost and won_

_I need someone who isn't a stranger to sorrow_

_And knows what it means to have sinned_

_I want someone who will keep me here, and hold me back_

_When I'm blind and I need it and hate it_

_Just – someone who will love me enough to save me._

_I know somewhere in this whole wide world_

_I have found someone who could be all this and more_

_My anchor and my guide, my moon, my stars, my sky_

_If I had the heart I have now, underneath the moon_

_If I could only tell him, "I love you"_

A/N: Thanks for reading this, my small group of interested fans. Please please please review - at the moment, the only feedback I have is from my friends, and I can't trust them at all. I want to know what you think - I'll even give you a cookie. Well, an imaginary cookie. Speaking of friends, thanks Hanjuuluver for your awesome input. Everyone who has made it this far should check out Hanjuuluver's stuff, especially her very wonderful HP/FMA crossover. Yay Readers!


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